Certainty

Have you ever noticed that certainty does not depend upon reason?

For example: I knew that my job was where I was meant to be even as I hated it and wanted out of it desperately.  Over time that certainty grew to love.  But initially, that certainty made no sense to me whatsoever, I just knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was supposed to do this job.

It's like that with leaving the job too.  I know that I am supposed to go west for school.  I don't know why.  I'm not headed in any particular direction with my life.  Beyond that, there are lots of logical reasons not to go.  Money, stable position, being far away from family just to name a few of the reasons it makes sense NOT to go.  And yet I know I am on the right path.  I have my fears, sure, but those fears are not doubts.  They don't make me question whether this is the right course of action.

How do I know though?  I couldn't tell you that either.  There's just this deep sense of this is what is right.  But it's easy to mistake our feelings and senses for something they aren't.  So it's more than that.  I've gone to the Source.  I've prayed and read my Bible.  I've asked for wise counsel from trusted friends, family, and mentors.  I've prayed and read some more.  And I've come to discover that the only reasons I can find not to go are based on human logic, not on matters of eternal significance.  When it comes down to making a choice, we must not ask ourselves what is sensible.  If we are always headed down a logical, sensible path, where then lies faith?  Maybe faith is not important to you, but it is the cornerstone of who I am.  I am nothing without my faith, and therefore, I must make my choices based upon my faith.

Maybe I get out to my destination, settle in and find I hate it.  That doesn't mean I shouldn't do it.  I hated my job for a good long while before I finally sat back and really looked at it.  It was then that I realized I love it.  Maybe I get out there and discover a good reason why I shouldn't be there.  Again, that doesn't mean I shouldn't have done it.  Sometimes we have to learn the hard way.  Sometimes we have to make mistakes in order to become who we are meant to be.  One of my elementary school teachers called mistakes rainbows.  I like that analogy.  We can look at life as gloomy and rainy, or we can enjoy the rainbows that are only possible in stormy weather.

I have experienced some not so nice things in my life, and those things have molded me in very important ways.  They've helped me see beyond myself in ways that just weren't possible before.  I don't think school will be one of those not so nice things, but maybe it will be.  If it is, then there is something to be learned in that too, and I will be better for it.  If it isn't, then what an awesome opportunity to grow in other ways.

So as I embark on this new journey, I am certain that it is a good course and I am determined to enjoy the adventure.