Absurd Profundities

I looked it up... "profundity" is a word.  And it changed the course of the direction I intended to head with my post this evening.

Dictionary.com has this to say:

1. The quality or state of being profound, depth.

2. Usually, profundities, profound or deep matters.

3. A profoundly deep place; abyss.

My looking turned into a new topic because I initially thought to talk about how we laugh at things that are true, the saying, "It's funny because it's true." But the third definition brought me to a different thought.  The word "abyss" always makes me think of a Friedrich Nietzsche quote: "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.  And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."

This led me round to the thought of going off to school and the importance of being cautious.  In foster care, I always had to be careful about how I expressed my faith, if I did at all.  Now my caution lies in talking about that world, in talking about Nietzsche and Hawking, in talking about the world outside my faith.  This is not for fear of being booted out of school, rather, in causing issues for my fellow students.  From my limited experience with Bible school students, I have discovered that there is a level of naivety.  There is a level of innocence in these students, not all of them certainly, but where it does exist, it should be cherished.

Nietzsche wrote a lot of things I don't agree with, but the above quote has always rung true with me.  I understand it in a way I don't like to think about.  There is a part of me, and there always has been, that understands the darkness that causes people to act in cruel, hateful ways.  I spoke just today of the times I have been on the witness stand and explained with cool dispassion of things people have done to children that I never thought I would talk about in private company.  This is a painful part of me, a part I would rather didn't exist, and to force that upon people who get to enjoy a life free of that would be unfair.

But I didn't get to stay in a life free of pain.  I'm glad I didn't for I have a greater understanding of the importance of innocence.  There will be much adjusting as I walk into this new realm, and this adjusting will involve finding a way to talk of my past experiences, of my enjoyment of philosophy and science, of my life as a geek.  I am not responsible for the actions of others, nor am I responsible for protecting every person.  But I know that as I tend to nurture and mentor in my relationships, I must be cautious to not allow the darkness I have experienced to destroy the innocence of others.