The Ramblings of a Sleepless Writer

Some days are harder than others.  I think we could all agree on that.  Some days it feels like getting out of bed might be a bad idea.  And some days I smack my head on the top bunk as I spring out of bed.  Admittedly the first is more likely than the second, but both have happened.

Some days, writing comes easily and, if you will forgive the cliché, as easy as breathing.  Other days... it feels like my creativity stayed in bed while the rest of me dragged itself up and trudged through a day.

Usually the bad idea of getting out of bed and the lack of creativity come from the same place: a lack of sleep.

Why does any of this matter to you?  Well, maybe it doesn't.  It is after all the ramblings of a sleepless writer (get it, that's the title of this post... anyway).  But then again, maybe it does.

Have you ever been so bone weary you didn't think you could move another micrometer?  I've been that tired more times than I care to count.  It's exhaustion that feels almost like it could just overcome you and take you down.  It's the kind of state that comes from being mentally, physically, and spiritually worn down by life.  And it's hard.

Whether it came from working long hours on a seemingly hopeless case or forgetting about a paper and sitting down to do it the night before it's due only to discover it entails a lot more effort than I anticipated or tossing and turning because the nightmares are unbearable, this exhaustion has taken me down more than once.  And the solution has not been so simple as getting a good night's sleep.  If you know me well, you know that a good night's sleep is a couple hours of solid sleep, so obviously that doesn't fix being exhausted.

The solution is the same solution I came to Bible school to be able to share with people.  For simplicity's sake, let's just put it in the Sunday School answer format: Jesus.  If you think I'm being trite, please understand that as tired as I am while I write this, I am writing out of the deep confidence of knowing the Word of God and experiencing the power of Jesus in my life.

When Jesus gave the Great Commission to His disciples, He made them a promise: "I am with you always."  Jesus didn't just give a command to go out and do noble things for the good of all.  He also promised to be with them as they went.  He promised to send the Holy Spirit.  He promised us the resources to do what He commanded us to do.

God gave me the job I had.  But He didn't just drop me in a difficult job and tell me to figure it out.  Every day He gave me the strength to do it.  Then He sent me to Bible school.  And He has given me the resources to do what He has me here to do.  Neither of these have presented an easy road.  It's exhausting to be stretched beyond your natural limits.  But God never stretches me beyond HIS limits.  What a tremendous blessing!

So as tired as I am.  As much as I wonder some days if it was really my best plan to get out of bed, I know that God is faithful to me whether I am to Him or not.  And that kind of faithfulness deserves my faithfulness and adoration in return.  When that is my aim, I may not get to the end of the day and have the energy to jump up and down for joy at the victory of making it through, but I have made it to the end of another day.  And that is something to rejoice over, even if that rejoicing is a quickly whispered prayer of thanks as I fall asleep.

Hold tight, dear friends.  God's got this, but that doesn't mean it will be an easy ride.  It does mean you can be sure that He is working for your good whether it is a good circumstance or a bad one.